dad's sprouts

Brussels sprouts will likely never be the food of choice for a 4-year old, but my introduction to the sulfurous miniature cabbages was less than ideal. Learning to cook in communal houses filled with blue-collar hippie dudes, my dad's early go-to recipes consisted mainly of hearty soups prepared in restaurant-sized pots. These methods translated to our family of three with occasional success, as leftover chili can be acceptably resurrected as nachos, chili dogs, or stuffed potatoes, especially when layered with shredded cheese. But the day he came home with a bushel of bargain Brussels spouts, mom and I were rightly wary. It wasn't so much the resulting bowl of murky green soup that we were served for dinner, but the oozing plastic tubs of the stuff that filled the freezer for far too long that still haunts me.

In the twenty-five-or-so years since his infamous lumpy concoction, he has refined his culinary skills and now manages to whip up the vegetable that turned my stomach into something nearly gourmet-- though the quantity is still impressive!

Dad's Brussels sprouts

As many Brussels sprouts as you can get your hands on, for the cheapest price you can find; up to an including negotiating with your produce provider
Several slices of bacon
A few shallots
Balsamic vinegar
Sea salt and fresh pepper

Meticulously rinse, trim, and half (or quarter, depending on how much patience mom has with you hogging the kitchen) each sprout and boil until tender but not falling apart. Drain and set aside.

In the biggest cast iron pan you have (but not the one you left on the campsite at the top of the mountain), fry bacon until crisp and aromatic enough to lure the cats to your ankles. Remove and drain, sampling as much as necessary, just to ensure it is top-notch. Crumble and set aside for later.

Thinly slice a pile of shallots and soften in the bacon grease, periodically shaking the pan like the chefs on TV. Add the Brussels spouts and cook until they're, you know, done. But not too done. Season with salt and pepper and finish with balsamic. Toss in the bacon at the last minute.

Oh, and make it your own.